Showing posts with label SELF HELP. Show all posts
Showing posts with label SELF HELP. Show all posts
Wednesday, September 19, 2012
Unfolding Secrets Of Life
The Whole Life Hangs Between This Or That
Your life is always full of confusions and you often fail to choose between the two options. Ultimately the phrase ‘This Or That’ is attached to your lives in an inseparable way as you are always confused about selecting the best for you. This Or That not just confuse you between the two or more good things available but if some puts before you two entirely bad situations and tells to go for the one, you would certainly go for the less miserable one. For example if you have to choose to jump to one side where there is fire and on the other your enemy is standing ready to kill you, you find yourself in the situation where no option is less dangerous. Here again you find yourself in a situation where you are faced with the question of This Or That.
Leave aside the common people, but even the bigwigs and top politicians are trapped in the situation of uncertainty. They have to answer themselves that what proposal or offer will pacify their employees or their countrymen, This Or That. When you step out from your house with the idea of buying a laptop for you, the array of brands available boggles you down. You can’t easily decide which company will fulfill your all requirements and gives you the product with your required specification, This Or That. At the end the people die but the confusion survives.
This Or That Often Becomes The Most Mind Boggling Thing
When you grow up, the complexities of your age make you feel uncomfortable and the simplicities of your childhood always give you an opportunity to smile. When you were a child, you were very clear about the things you had wanted and had always asked your parents for those specific goodies. But with the progressing years, the confusion becomes your inseparable companion. You get so many options that you are lost between ‘This Or That’. Again the situation of This Or That comes forward to confuse you when you have to take your family on vacations. You have on your list so many good places which your friends have suggested, but ultimately you are faced by the very typical question that which destination will give you and your loved ones the lasting satisfaction.
You often find you and your siblings in a fighting mode when you have to choose from the breeds of dogs to be kept as your pet. In such This Or That situation either your parents have to intervene or you have to vacate your stand in the favour of others. This Or That situation not only troubles you in your major decisions but in your routine also you have to encounter some confusing moments. This Or That confuse you when on a bright Sunday morning your mother offers you to choose from the list of your favourite items for your breakfast.
Choosing Between This Or That Is The Most Complex Thing In Life
Though you are always fascinated by the life and lifestyle of others but you are not aware of all the confusions that have enwrapped them from all sides. The people who appear to be the most satisfied lot of the society are facing the same questions of life which you have been facing. The normal life ‘This Or That’ is equally troubling them as it gives you the sleepless nights. If they are rich then they have to decide that in which direction they have to invest their money, This Or That. Even when they step into their garage to take a car for the leisure ride, they first have to decide which car they should take. It becomes difficult for them to choose from the expensive furniture that which piece goes well with their style, This Or That.
If you are a film buff and have a long list of the films to be downloaded free from the net, the question will definitely arise that which is to be downloaded first. At eve step of your life confusion is waiting for you. You are not spared even at the time of the celebrations. This Or That, which cake will be good for the occasion, which flavour you should go for, what colours your family members would like to have etc. etc. Ultimately This Or That remains in your life, but only to add some charm to that.
It Often Becomes Tough To Vote For This Or That
The situation can be any but if you have to make a decision about rejecting or selecting a thing out many options then the issue of ‘This Or That’ is certainly going to give some very uncomfortable moments. No matter how simple or complex the situation is, making a decision and reaching on a particular decision confuses all young and old equally. You can’t say that your elders are more experienced and will make the decision fast. Rather they are more confused when they have to choose between the two sticks or many umbrellas. They always find themselves in the situation of This Or That. Leave aside the common people, but even the bigwigs and top politicians are trapped in the situation of uncertainty. They have to answer themselves that what proposal or offer will pacify their employees or their countrymen, This Or That.
This Or That situation not only troubles you in your major decisions but in your routine also you have to encounter some confusing moments. You find yourself confused when on a bright Sunday morning your mother offers you to choose from the list of your favourite items for your breakfast. Many people face This Or That situation when they have to choose one amount from the winnings from lotteries. The condition attached to the big amount holds them whereas the sure shot amount is which considerably low again makes them mad.
Monday, April 20, 2009
HABITS OF EFFECTIVE PEOPLE
10 Habits of Highly Effective Brains
By Alvaro Fernandez
Source: Huffington Post
If you are reading this, the good news is that you have a brain inside your head. And you have probably read about the emerging brain fitness movement: frequent articles in the media, an ongoing PBS special, more and more products and games.
Newsweek's Sharon Begley recently wrote that "With the nation's 78 million baby boomers approaching the age of those dreaded "where did I leave my keys?" moments, it's no wonder the market for computer-based brain training has shot up from essentially zero in 2005 to $80 million this year, according to the consulting firm SharpBrains."
Now, before you embark on buying any of those programs, you should know that there is a lot we can do without spending a dime. Based on dozens of interviews with scientists and recent research findings, let's take a look at some of the habits of Highly Effective Brains:
1. Learn what is the "It" in "Use It or Lose It".
A basic understanding will serve you well to appreciate your brain's beauty as a living and constantly-developing dense forest with billions of neurons and synapses.
2. Take care of your nutrition.
Did you know that the brain only weighs 2% of body mass but consumes over 20% of the oxygen and nutrients we intake? As a general rule, you don't need expensive ultra-sophisticated nutritional supplements, just make sure you don't stuff yourself with the "bad stuff".
3. Remember that the brain is part of the body.
Things that exercise your body can also help sharpen your brain: physical exercise enhances neurogenesis.
4. Practice positive, future-oriented thoughts until they become your default mindset and you look forward to every new day in a constructive way.
Stress and anxiety, no matter whether induced by external events or by your own thoughts, actually kills neurons and prevents the creation of new ones. You can think of chronic stress as the opposite of exercise: it prevents the creation of new neurons.
5. Thrive on Learning and Mental Challenges.
The point of having a brain is precisely to learn and to adapt to challenging new environments. Once new neurons appear in your brain, where they stay in your brain and how long they survive depends on how you use them. "Use It or Lose It" does not mean "do crossword puzzle number 1,234,567". It means, "challenge your brain often with fundamentally new activities."
6. We are (as far as we know) the only self-directed organisms in this planet. Aim high.
Once you graduate from college, keep learning. The brain keeps developing, no matter your age, and it reflects what you do with it.
7. Explore, travel.
Adapting to new locations forces you to pay more attention to your environment. Make new decisions, use your brain.
8. Don't Outsource Your Brain.
Not to media personalities, not to politicians, not to your smart neighbor, not to this blogger... Make your own decisions, and mistakes. And learn from them. That way, you are training your brain, not your neighbor's.
9. Develop and maintain stimulating friendships.
We are "social animals", and need social interaction. Which, by the way, is why the Baby Einstein series has been shown not to be the panacea for children development.
10. Laugh. Often.
Especially to cognitively complex humor, full of twists and surprises. Better, try to become the next Jon Stewart, and create your own unique humor.
Keep in mind that what counts is not reading this article - or any other one - but practicing a bit every day until small steps snowball into unstoppable, internalized habits... so, pick your next battle and try to start improving at least one of these 10 habits during the holidays!
By Alvaro Fernandez
Source: Huffington Post
If you are reading this, the good news is that you have a brain inside your head. And you have probably read about the emerging brain fitness movement: frequent articles in the media, an ongoing PBS special, more and more products and games.
Newsweek's Sharon Begley recently wrote that "With the nation's 78 million baby boomers approaching the age of those dreaded "where did I leave my keys?" moments, it's no wonder the market for computer-based brain training has shot up from essentially zero in 2005 to $80 million this year, according to the consulting firm SharpBrains."
Now, before you embark on buying any of those programs, you should know that there is a lot we can do without spending a dime. Based on dozens of interviews with scientists and recent research findings, let's take a look at some of the habits of Highly Effective Brains:
1. Learn what is the "It" in "Use It or Lose It".
A basic understanding will serve you well to appreciate your brain's beauty as a living and constantly-developing dense forest with billions of neurons and synapses.
2. Take care of your nutrition.
Did you know that the brain only weighs 2% of body mass but consumes over 20% of the oxygen and nutrients we intake? As a general rule, you don't need expensive ultra-sophisticated nutritional supplements, just make sure you don't stuff yourself with the "bad stuff".
3. Remember that the brain is part of the body.
Things that exercise your body can also help sharpen your brain: physical exercise enhances neurogenesis.
4. Practice positive, future-oriented thoughts until they become your default mindset and you look forward to every new day in a constructive way.
Stress and anxiety, no matter whether induced by external events or by your own thoughts, actually kills neurons and prevents the creation of new ones. You can think of chronic stress as the opposite of exercise: it prevents the creation of new neurons.
5. Thrive on Learning and Mental Challenges.
The point of having a brain is precisely to learn and to adapt to challenging new environments. Once new neurons appear in your brain, where they stay in your brain and how long they survive depends on how you use them. "Use It or Lose It" does not mean "do crossword puzzle number 1,234,567". It means, "challenge your brain often with fundamentally new activities."
6. We are (as far as we know) the only self-directed organisms in this planet. Aim high.
Once you graduate from college, keep learning. The brain keeps developing, no matter your age, and it reflects what you do with it.
7. Explore, travel.
Adapting to new locations forces you to pay more attention to your environment. Make new decisions, use your brain.
8. Don't Outsource Your Brain.
Not to media personalities, not to politicians, not to your smart neighbor, not to this blogger... Make your own decisions, and mistakes. And learn from them. That way, you are training your brain, not your neighbor's.
9. Develop and maintain stimulating friendships.
We are "social animals", and need social interaction. Which, by the way, is why the Baby Einstein series has been shown not to be the panacea for children development.
10. Laugh. Often.
Especially to cognitively complex humor, full of twists and surprises. Better, try to become the next Jon Stewart, and create your own unique humor.
Keep in mind that what counts is not reading this article - or any other one - but practicing a bit every day until small steps snowball into unstoppable, internalized habits... so, pick your next battle and try to start improving at least one of these 10 habits during the holidays!
Friday, April 17, 2009
STEPS FOR SUCCESS
Six Power Steps to Your Success
By Stuart Goldsmith
The following power steps structure your thinking to make sure the actions you take will drive you towards success.
Power Step #1: Be In Charge Of Your Life
Caring what other people think of you puts them in charge of your life, instead of you.
'What will other people think of me?' slavery is extremely common. Most of us are brought up (rightfully so) to consider others. But, unless we are discerning, we soon find ourselves caught up in a job we can't stand, or living in a relationship which makes us unhappy, or getting caught up in the spiral of poverty.
'Trying to please other people all the time' syndrome begins in childhood. It stems from a desire to be liked and admired. Let's look at a fairly typical scenario: three boys, Fred, Joe, and Matthew, all five years old, are best pals. They fight to sit together at school and spend their breaks in a group. Fred comes to school one day with a stack of pokemon cards to show his friends. Joe is envious of Fred's collection and a fight breaks out when Fred refuses to give a prized card to Joe.
There are several resulting scenarios, all with serious implications for Fred's future. A teacher could break up the fight and make Fred feel guilty for not parting with the prized card. Joe could refuse to talk to Fred even ending the friendship, unless Fred relented. Matthew would side with either Joe or Fred, or be a peacemaker and force the other two to discuss the problem and sort it out amicably.
The biggest danger to Fred, is if the solution entails his giving the card away, when he really doesn't want to. In other words, if the only reason he gives in, is because he desperately wants to be liked and it really matters what his friends think of him. If they were real friends, of course, Joe would understand Fred's view and Matthew would not criticise. Fred might even willingly offer Joe another not so valuable card out of his collection.
Over the years thousands of small incidents build up, until by the time we are adults, most of us make a habit of putting what other people think of us before our own personal needs and desires.
The Right Reasons
Before you cut the grass, decorate the house, start a business, go on holiday, always ask yourself, 'am I doing this for the right reasons?' Yes, the gardening has to be done, but not if you're in the middle of crucial market research and if you don't cut the grass today you're worried that the neighbour's will think you're lazy. Yes, a house has to be decorated, but not if it's at the expense of your health through shooting your stress level through the roof trying to fit it in between a busy advertising campaign, and it's only because your partner insists you do it now.
'Other people' slavery kills your creativity, your energy and drive towards your own goals and fulfilling your dreams. It stops you from going to places you want to visit and enjoying the kind of entertainment that you enjoy. So, make certain you're not always driven to do things, merely because you're worried about what other people think of you. Be confident in who you are!
Power Step #2: Strive to be Different
Nearly everyone you know will strive to be normal - because it's socially acceptable. But the normal person goes nowhere special and achieves the mundane.
Using a fictitious character called Norman, here's an example of his normal expectations of life and mediocre results:
'I live in a pleasant neighbourhood in an average house (translated as meaning: all the houses and gardens along the street look exactly alike, apart from the odd differences in plants). I own an average car (just another standard box on wheels, which apart from minor differences looks like nearly every other car on the road).'
Norman's other goals and ambitions: 'I save up all year round to take my wife and children on holiday, somewhere nice where it's safe. We usually book a package holiday, so everything is taken care of and we know exactly what to expect. Even the entertainment is all planned for us.
My job is boring, but it pays the bills and the pension is good. It'll never make me rich, but then I don't want to be rich (but he wouldn't give away a lottery win!). Anyone who's rich has had to lie and cheat their way to the top. I like to sleep at night with a clear conscience. I may not have much but at least it's honest toil.
I don't have much to do with the neighbours; I don't really like them. But, to keep the peace I mow my lawn once a week and keep the garden weeded and tidy, and do the odd job for them. I like to think they view me as a nice guy.
Every other weekend we visit our best friends, Alice and Paul, and they visit us alternate weekends. Like us, they're your average typical family. Most nights after work I shower, change and after dinner, put my feet up and watch television until bedtime. Every Sunday, we have a roast dinner and every Friday we treat ourselves to a fry up. Am I happy, well, it's life isn't it?'
That's how Norman thinks and lives his life and that's how many people live their life. The Normans spend their days, grumbling about how they hate their job, get fed up with their bosses and partners, but that's all they do. The same gripes day in and day out - but taking no action to change their situation, simply because they are slaves to being normal (and 'what will other people think of me, if I do something unusual?').
Living in the Fast Lane of the Elite
Let's compare Norman's goals and ambitions with another invented character, David. He's one of the smaller group of people who move forward and live the life of the elite and privileged.
'My philosophy on life is simple. Life is too short to be little.
I'm not concerned with what other people think of me. If all my neighbours want to cut down their hedges and build short brick walls and block pave their drives, that's their choice, but I'm not going to have it done just to please them. I like the trees so they're staying and I prefer to have a shingle drive. I've done everything possible to make our house individual.
Often, I ring Sarah from the office and ask her to forget about cooking dinner for that night and how about going out for a meal? We've tried all the restaurants within a twenty km radius.
We both love holidays, and I take the family as often as possible. We spend most weekends, exploring new places and trying out different activities.
I love my job, it's very challenging being a manager. I get to meet and work with people of many different personality traits, from varied backgrounds. Every now and then a junior is obviously aiming to take my job. I don't find it threatening, I like the challenge. I enjoy working with intelligent people who stretch my potential.
I work hard and I am paid well. Do I feel guilty? No, I expect to be paid handsomely for my efforts, I wouldn't have it any other way. We live in a large house in an exclusive area and that's my reward for going the extra mile at work. I don't automatically go home at the end of the working day. And sometimes I arrive at the office as early as 6am, just to prepare for a meeting with my team.
I want to be rich and I am prepared to plan and work towards my goals. I look forward to the future. I don't know what's around the corner and I don't care, because whatever happens I will handle the situation. I know I can solve problems - my strength lies within, it does not come from any outside forces. I couldn't care less whether other people approve of me or not, I know I'm okay and that's all that matters.'
Two Opposing Philosophies
Norman's slavery to acting normal (and slavery to what other people think), creates poverty and unhappiness. While David's striving to be different (and refusal to be a slave to other people's expectations of him) creates wealth and happiness.
If you are ever tempted to query if David's attitude is not a tad selfish, then just ask yourself this question, 'who would you prefer to have as a friend? Norman, who's bored and unhappy or David who's exciting and happy?' Easy isn't it.
Power Step #3: Look to the Future
If you dwell on your past mistakes your creativity can crash to a grinding halt and you will be unable to move forward. Losing is good if you interpret it correctly.
Demonstration Example: A friend of mine told me how a number of years ago, an acquaintance of his, approached him with a spectacular lead about a stock that was certain to triple in price in the next few weeks. The price was $7.45 a share. So, despite his misgivings he bought 200 shares. From that day the stock dropped. Finally eighteen months later he decided to cut his losses and sell.
He sold the stock for a huge loss at a grand total of $413. He could have let this one bad experience drive him from ever investing in the stock market again. However, this wise man explained, he was glad to have learned such valuable lessons.
It taught him:
1. Ignore the guy who wants to give a hot tip.
2. Check into a company carefully before buying.
3. Sell if it starts dropping too much.
Education of the Highest Merit
Don't regard mistakes as mistakes. It ceases to be a mistake and loses its power to hold you back if you can learn to be glad that you've not failed but learned valuable lessons in life. That attitude will help you to build future successes.
Lost a job? You probably weren't suited, so take the time out to decide what you really want to do. Built a business and then it crashed? Perhaps you don't like running your own business. Can't sell a product? Look for the reason and then act. Either try out other ways to sell it or scrap the product and sell a different one.
Blessed is he who is not discouraged by mistakes. Blessed is he who is glad he makes mistakes. Winning - or losing - is a state of mind.
Power Step #4: It's Never Too Late
Sadly, the following story is all too common: Bill spent years training to be an engineer, although he never really liked engineering. But he thought it was worth the sacrifice because it was a highly paid skill.
After college, he started a job with an engineering company. Years later he was still working at the same company and still hating it. His excuse was with a mortgage and family ties he was scared to leave the engineering firm and go into a job with lower wages.
After twenty years he was still afraid to correct a mistake made all those years ago. He was now too scared to change jobs, simply because he'd left it too late. He didn't want to compete with younger men experienced at their job.
If you have a goal and you find yourself saying 'it's too late', the only way to conquer that fear is to ignore it and go ahead and do the thing you fear. It's NEVER too late if you have the courage and the passion to follow your dream.
Power Step #5: Don't Crave Security
In ages past we accepted that life was full of hardships. They grappled with huge animals in a desperate bid to kill them for food. The odds were simple; either succeed or starve, kill or be killed.
As civilisations discovered fire and then electricity and gas to keep warm, bought food from markets and built houses of stone, people became less willing to deal with any unexpected events that threatened to turn their cosy life upside down. So, insurance was invented.
The idea of insurance is to cushion the impact of the unexpected. In theory it's a good idea, but it has turned our society into a population of security seekers. It has weakened our strength as individuals who know we can surmount any problem or situation that life throws our way.
The stifling extent of this slavery is enormous. The more security we have the less psychological freedom we can enjoy and the less our chances are of success and abundance.
Dare to Take a Chance
The only places to find security are a prison or mental hospital. Inmates are assured a roof over their heads, food and warmth and no responsibilities. The price tag for this security? No freedom.
Unfortunately, it's all too easy to reel off a list of bad things that could happen to us. For most people it's easier than thinking of the good things that could happen. People who crave security are slaves to a vivid imagination that conjures up bad news items that could happen to them, and they allow these images to cripple their actions. Too afraid to start that great business idea because of all the things they imagine that could go wrong. Too frightened to sell up and buy a larger house in another area because the house prices could drop or the children won't like the new schools, or... and so it goes on for an endless list.
Every child loves surprises and life is fun and exciting because of this. As we grow up and we fight for security, we eliminate the risks but in doing so we eliminate the surprises and limit our chances to achieve more than a humdrum life.
If you want to make sure you don't stifle your need for excitement:
1. Dare to be individual.
2. Dare to develop your own style - instead of following fashion.
3. Dare to study and work to improve yourself in your profession.
4. Dare to have a positive mental attitude and the courage to try.
In other words: Dare to take a chance.
Power Step #6: I Am Certain to Win
Our minds drive us to achieve exactly what we believe we're capable of achieving. This is good news because once we understand this and master the art of controlled thinking, then we can guide our destinies towards success.
Controlled experiments over many years have proved that children who are considered by their teachers, friends and families to be 'troublesome or terrors' actually end up getting into trouble with a high percentage becoming juvenile delinquents. However, the 'good' group of boys (in the same age group at the beginning of a study) believed by teachers, friends and families to stay out of trouble and succeed in school, go on to do so. Each group of children achieve in accordance with what people around them believe them capable of doing.
The conclusion of many similar studies is this: thinking does make it so. Only a miracle can make the football team win who starts a game with the 'we know they'll beat us,' attitude.
If you need to break the bonds of 'I'm certain to fail' slavery:
1. Hold positive chats with yourself.
2. Surround yourself with positive people.
3. Think, 'I'm going to succeed'.
4. Think, 'I'm a winner'.
The only person you will have to convince is yourself. Other people are automatically convinced you're great and a success, after you have convinced yourself.
By Stuart Goldsmith
The following power steps structure your thinking to make sure the actions you take will drive you towards success.
Power Step #1: Be In Charge Of Your Life
Caring what other people think of you puts them in charge of your life, instead of you.
'What will other people think of me?' slavery is extremely common. Most of us are brought up (rightfully so) to consider others. But, unless we are discerning, we soon find ourselves caught up in a job we can't stand, or living in a relationship which makes us unhappy, or getting caught up in the spiral of poverty.
'Trying to please other people all the time' syndrome begins in childhood. It stems from a desire to be liked and admired. Let's look at a fairly typical scenario: three boys, Fred, Joe, and Matthew, all five years old, are best pals. They fight to sit together at school and spend their breaks in a group. Fred comes to school one day with a stack of pokemon cards to show his friends. Joe is envious of Fred's collection and a fight breaks out when Fred refuses to give a prized card to Joe.
There are several resulting scenarios, all with serious implications for Fred's future. A teacher could break up the fight and make Fred feel guilty for not parting with the prized card. Joe could refuse to talk to Fred even ending the friendship, unless Fred relented. Matthew would side with either Joe or Fred, or be a peacemaker and force the other two to discuss the problem and sort it out amicably.
The biggest danger to Fred, is if the solution entails his giving the card away, when he really doesn't want to. In other words, if the only reason he gives in, is because he desperately wants to be liked and it really matters what his friends think of him. If they were real friends, of course, Joe would understand Fred's view and Matthew would not criticise. Fred might even willingly offer Joe another not so valuable card out of his collection.
Over the years thousands of small incidents build up, until by the time we are adults, most of us make a habit of putting what other people think of us before our own personal needs and desires.
The Right Reasons
Before you cut the grass, decorate the house, start a business, go on holiday, always ask yourself, 'am I doing this for the right reasons?' Yes, the gardening has to be done, but not if you're in the middle of crucial market research and if you don't cut the grass today you're worried that the neighbour's will think you're lazy. Yes, a house has to be decorated, but not if it's at the expense of your health through shooting your stress level through the roof trying to fit it in between a busy advertising campaign, and it's only because your partner insists you do it now.
'Other people' slavery kills your creativity, your energy and drive towards your own goals and fulfilling your dreams. It stops you from going to places you want to visit and enjoying the kind of entertainment that you enjoy. So, make certain you're not always driven to do things, merely because you're worried about what other people think of you. Be confident in who you are!
Power Step #2: Strive to be Different
Nearly everyone you know will strive to be normal - because it's socially acceptable. But the normal person goes nowhere special and achieves the mundane.
Using a fictitious character called Norman, here's an example of his normal expectations of life and mediocre results:
'I live in a pleasant neighbourhood in an average house (translated as meaning: all the houses and gardens along the street look exactly alike, apart from the odd differences in plants). I own an average car (just another standard box on wheels, which apart from minor differences looks like nearly every other car on the road).'
Norman's other goals and ambitions: 'I save up all year round to take my wife and children on holiday, somewhere nice where it's safe. We usually book a package holiday, so everything is taken care of and we know exactly what to expect. Even the entertainment is all planned for us.
My job is boring, but it pays the bills and the pension is good. It'll never make me rich, but then I don't want to be rich (but he wouldn't give away a lottery win!). Anyone who's rich has had to lie and cheat their way to the top. I like to sleep at night with a clear conscience. I may not have much but at least it's honest toil.
I don't have much to do with the neighbours; I don't really like them. But, to keep the peace I mow my lawn once a week and keep the garden weeded and tidy, and do the odd job for them. I like to think they view me as a nice guy.
Every other weekend we visit our best friends, Alice and Paul, and they visit us alternate weekends. Like us, they're your average typical family. Most nights after work I shower, change and after dinner, put my feet up and watch television until bedtime. Every Sunday, we have a roast dinner and every Friday we treat ourselves to a fry up. Am I happy, well, it's life isn't it?'
That's how Norman thinks and lives his life and that's how many people live their life. The Normans spend their days, grumbling about how they hate their job, get fed up with their bosses and partners, but that's all they do. The same gripes day in and day out - but taking no action to change their situation, simply because they are slaves to being normal (and 'what will other people think of me, if I do something unusual?').
Living in the Fast Lane of the Elite
Let's compare Norman's goals and ambitions with another invented character, David. He's one of the smaller group of people who move forward and live the life of the elite and privileged.
'My philosophy on life is simple. Life is too short to be little.
I'm not concerned with what other people think of me. If all my neighbours want to cut down their hedges and build short brick walls and block pave their drives, that's their choice, but I'm not going to have it done just to please them. I like the trees so they're staying and I prefer to have a shingle drive. I've done everything possible to make our house individual.
Often, I ring Sarah from the office and ask her to forget about cooking dinner for that night and how about going out for a meal? We've tried all the restaurants within a twenty km radius.
We both love holidays, and I take the family as often as possible. We spend most weekends, exploring new places and trying out different activities.
I love my job, it's very challenging being a manager. I get to meet and work with people of many different personality traits, from varied backgrounds. Every now and then a junior is obviously aiming to take my job. I don't find it threatening, I like the challenge. I enjoy working with intelligent people who stretch my potential.
I work hard and I am paid well. Do I feel guilty? No, I expect to be paid handsomely for my efforts, I wouldn't have it any other way. We live in a large house in an exclusive area and that's my reward for going the extra mile at work. I don't automatically go home at the end of the working day. And sometimes I arrive at the office as early as 6am, just to prepare for a meeting with my team.
I want to be rich and I am prepared to plan and work towards my goals. I look forward to the future. I don't know what's around the corner and I don't care, because whatever happens I will handle the situation. I know I can solve problems - my strength lies within, it does not come from any outside forces. I couldn't care less whether other people approve of me or not, I know I'm okay and that's all that matters.'
Two Opposing Philosophies
Norman's slavery to acting normal (and slavery to what other people think), creates poverty and unhappiness. While David's striving to be different (and refusal to be a slave to other people's expectations of him) creates wealth and happiness.
If you are ever tempted to query if David's attitude is not a tad selfish, then just ask yourself this question, 'who would you prefer to have as a friend? Norman, who's bored and unhappy or David who's exciting and happy?' Easy isn't it.
Power Step #3: Look to the Future
If you dwell on your past mistakes your creativity can crash to a grinding halt and you will be unable to move forward. Losing is good if you interpret it correctly.
Demonstration Example: A friend of mine told me how a number of years ago, an acquaintance of his, approached him with a spectacular lead about a stock that was certain to triple in price in the next few weeks. The price was $7.45 a share. So, despite his misgivings he bought 200 shares. From that day the stock dropped. Finally eighteen months later he decided to cut his losses and sell.
He sold the stock for a huge loss at a grand total of $413. He could have let this one bad experience drive him from ever investing in the stock market again. However, this wise man explained, he was glad to have learned such valuable lessons.
It taught him:
1. Ignore the guy who wants to give a hot tip.
2. Check into a company carefully before buying.
3. Sell if it starts dropping too much.
Education of the Highest Merit
Don't regard mistakes as mistakes. It ceases to be a mistake and loses its power to hold you back if you can learn to be glad that you've not failed but learned valuable lessons in life. That attitude will help you to build future successes.
Lost a job? You probably weren't suited, so take the time out to decide what you really want to do. Built a business and then it crashed? Perhaps you don't like running your own business. Can't sell a product? Look for the reason and then act. Either try out other ways to sell it or scrap the product and sell a different one.
Blessed is he who is not discouraged by mistakes. Blessed is he who is glad he makes mistakes. Winning - or losing - is a state of mind.
Power Step #4: It's Never Too Late
Sadly, the following story is all too common: Bill spent years training to be an engineer, although he never really liked engineering. But he thought it was worth the sacrifice because it was a highly paid skill.
After college, he started a job with an engineering company. Years later he was still working at the same company and still hating it. His excuse was with a mortgage and family ties he was scared to leave the engineering firm and go into a job with lower wages.
After twenty years he was still afraid to correct a mistake made all those years ago. He was now too scared to change jobs, simply because he'd left it too late. He didn't want to compete with younger men experienced at their job.
If you have a goal and you find yourself saying 'it's too late', the only way to conquer that fear is to ignore it and go ahead and do the thing you fear. It's NEVER too late if you have the courage and the passion to follow your dream.
Power Step #5: Don't Crave Security
In ages past we accepted that life was full of hardships. They grappled with huge animals in a desperate bid to kill them for food. The odds were simple; either succeed or starve, kill or be killed.
As civilisations discovered fire and then electricity and gas to keep warm, bought food from markets and built houses of stone, people became less willing to deal with any unexpected events that threatened to turn their cosy life upside down. So, insurance was invented.
The idea of insurance is to cushion the impact of the unexpected. In theory it's a good idea, but it has turned our society into a population of security seekers. It has weakened our strength as individuals who know we can surmount any problem or situation that life throws our way.
The stifling extent of this slavery is enormous. The more security we have the less psychological freedom we can enjoy and the less our chances are of success and abundance.
Dare to Take a Chance
The only places to find security are a prison or mental hospital. Inmates are assured a roof over their heads, food and warmth and no responsibilities. The price tag for this security? No freedom.
Unfortunately, it's all too easy to reel off a list of bad things that could happen to us. For most people it's easier than thinking of the good things that could happen. People who crave security are slaves to a vivid imagination that conjures up bad news items that could happen to them, and they allow these images to cripple their actions. Too afraid to start that great business idea because of all the things they imagine that could go wrong. Too frightened to sell up and buy a larger house in another area because the house prices could drop or the children won't like the new schools, or... and so it goes on for an endless list.
Every child loves surprises and life is fun and exciting because of this. As we grow up and we fight for security, we eliminate the risks but in doing so we eliminate the surprises and limit our chances to achieve more than a humdrum life.
If you want to make sure you don't stifle your need for excitement:
1. Dare to be individual.
2. Dare to develop your own style - instead of following fashion.
3. Dare to study and work to improve yourself in your profession.
4. Dare to have a positive mental attitude and the courage to try.
In other words: Dare to take a chance.
Power Step #6: I Am Certain to Win
Our minds drive us to achieve exactly what we believe we're capable of achieving. This is good news because once we understand this and master the art of controlled thinking, then we can guide our destinies towards success.
Controlled experiments over many years have proved that children who are considered by their teachers, friends and families to be 'troublesome or terrors' actually end up getting into trouble with a high percentage becoming juvenile delinquents. However, the 'good' group of boys (in the same age group at the beginning of a study) believed by teachers, friends and families to stay out of trouble and succeed in school, go on to do so. Each group of children achieve in accordance with what people around them believe them capable of doing.
The conclusion of many similar studies is this: thinking does make it so. Only a miracle can make the football team win who starts a game with the 'we know they'll beat us,' attitude.
If you need to break the bonds of 'I'm certain to fail' slavery:
1. Hold positive chats with yourself.
2. Surround yourself with positive people.
3. Think, 'I'm going to succeed'.
4. Think, 'I'm a winner'.
The only person you will have to convince is yourself. Other people are automatically convinced you're great and a success, after you have convinced yourself.
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